Saturday, May 17, 2008

To my self-loathing, chest thumping, $h!t talking republican brethren

I’ve been meaning to write this post for quite some time, but now is as good a time as any. For the past few months, I (and a fellow liberal traitor) have been “debating” a few rightists on a whole variety of issues. Whether is it nonsense like Rezko or Wright or whatever other manufactured fantasy reason to point out (with escalating rhetoric that only a fifth grader on the playground would be impressed with) why liberal traitors with San Francisco values love terrorists, don’t want to “win” in Iraq and hate America, it always comes down to a few points.



  • Conservatives rule, liberals are teh suck;

  • Everything that went wrong with respect to everything over the past 8 years is because of “Clinton and the coward liberal Democrats” making it harder for America to be the greatest country in the world;

  • Facts provided and documentation of actual events are either ignored or compared to something that the Democrats or specifically Bill Clinton or “the Jew hating” Jimmy Carter did - but never actually addressed or even acknowledged; and

  • Conservatives rule, liberals are teh suck, only this time with insults, strawmen, profanity and my favorite, “I’m done with you”.

This isn’t the first time that I have been down this road. But with the events of this week (and quite possibly with the fact that I am now reading our own Jeffrey Feldman’s new book, Outright Barbarous, coupled with some stunningly delusional talk from my conservative “debate partner” about Gates only saying we should negotiate with Iran because he is afraid of the Democrats being pussies (yes, those are the exact words), it is time to call bullshit on this in the most demeaning and degrading way.



The cries of Democrats being weak or “appeasers” is laughable when you consider those brave republicans who, “when danger reared its ugly head, they bravely turned their tail and fled” and makes you wonder how little sex they were getting when they were in college.



The outlandish and so over the top that it surpassed embarrassing and went straight to pathetic titles of books like Liberal Fascism, Soulless, Godless or talk about “invading their countries and converting them to Christianity” to not caring if al Qaeda were to bomb San Francisco or that the New York Times building should be blown up or that we will roll over one night and crush Canada or whatever “investigation” is done to intimidate the lives of pre-teens because they dare to talk about how SCHIP saved their lives - despite being something that may actually spurn terrorist acts against our country or citizens - makes you wonder just how few friends these people had growing up.



Joking about shooting the presumptive Democratic Presidential nominee or “musing” that someone should poison a Supreme Court Justice (how very funny..) or blaming 9/11 on the “liberals and the gays” is as callous as it is indicative of “something not being right” about you. Were you that shunned for much of your childhood that you need to call attention to yourself in any way possible?



Calling me a traitorous selfish idiot because I asked just what “winning” in Iraq would be when told that I don’t want us to “win” in Iraq or that I want America to lose or that Obama hates America but McCain loves America or conveniently ignoring facts or votes or actual events or polls or GAO reports all for a “you have Bush derangement syndrome and are clearly in need of help” is probably the (1) least relevant and (2) mind blowingly childish response that I could ever conjure up and makes me wonder if there is any semblance of logic, reason or the ability to interact socially. Right wing bloggers/101st Fighting Keyboardists being in favor of nothing less than constant military force and intimidation but only when it is by other people’s children yet the only Army they will ever see is the army of strawmen they build is the very definition of cowardly and weak.



But with all of that, the still-clinging to an irrational hatred for all things that aren’t either a violent show of “don’t-fuck-with-me might” (small penis syndrome, perhaps?) and an inability to communicate on any level that consists of anything more than insults, threats is really sad.



Not sad in the traditional definition, of course. Sad and in pathetic. And cowardly. And deserving of nothing short of complete and utter ridicule. Your tough talk and fake bravado shows just how low and insignificant you really are. And how much you hate yourself.



Your time is coming to a close - we’ve wised up to your nonsense. The party’s over. No more “war on Christmas”. No more “if Democrats get elected, we will get hit and hit hard”. No more “bring ‘em on”.



Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out on your way back to the rock you slithered out from under.

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