Monday, August 11, 2008

The temptation is too much for me to fight.

How can I NOT spread the word about how great John McCain's ass backward policies will be for ruining this country for years, nay, DECADES to come?

I mean, all I have to do is sell out my soul, er, astroturf because there are no real McCain supporters out there, er, troll progressive blog sites, er, (swallows hard) proudly support a man who has done nothing really of note since coming back from Vietman, I mean, is hawking cheap crap on his campaign website if I promise to copy and paste talking points into blogs in the hope that even brainless people won't notice that I am a new user with no diary or commenting history.

Talk about an opportunity that can't be passed up....

Maybe this can get me a PROSPERITY sign, a PEACE sign, a REFORM sign (because nothing spells reform like an old angry washed up insider who has sold out to everything that is status quo), or maybe I can hit the trifecta - the REFORM/PROSPERITY/PEACE sign!!!

Actually - come to think of it, the unintentional comedy factor in these signs is off the charts.

Even better, if I can troll enough sites, can I get enough points to get me one of the John McCain Filtered Water Bottles? It would be perfect to deliver hot bottled water to dehydrated babies.

But maybe I would have to sink a bit lower, and really REALLY sell myself out (or more accurately, be like McCain himself and pimp out Mrs. clammyc) in order to get her one of the spaghetti strap tank tops so I can enter her in the Miss North Jersey um..."pageant". Yeah, that would make me feel like a real part of the campaign.

Or....I can really go for the gold and try to accumulate enough troll points and get me one of the big and bad ass McCain Nation Party Packs - which I would only assume is complete with an ape suit (because nothing spells party like a good ape raping) and other assorted goodies that can be used to humiliate and denigrate excite the ladies on the block.

Well, all this excitement is getting to be too much. Let me see what today's talking points are so I can go regurgitate them and pretend that I actually care about an old phony who blows his top at the slightest challenge or questioning and has no clue about, well, anything that happened after 1985.

Oooooooooh.... "rising above partisanship" and jobs for all of the other rich white republicans and their children, er, America.

Gotta go get busy with some trolling. Otherwise, I may miss out on the McCain Courageous Service CD, which I would only assume is limited edition.


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