Wednesday, November 15, 2006

60 years old and still running to daddy to clean up your mess

Front paged at Booman Tribune and ePluribus Media

Jeez, Georgie-boy, you were right. It is hard work - but not the way you described it. It has GOT to be hard work screwing up every single thing in your entire life, especially when everything has been handed to you by Daddy and his powerful friends in the business and political world.

And knowing how much you shun your real father for a "higher father" it has got to kill you that time and time again, you have to turn to daddy's friends to bail you out when you colossally screw up whatever your latest disastrous adventure is. It doesn't matter if it is relying on daddy to get you into his alma maters (or the Skull and Bones for that matter), or for business connections, or favors for military "service", or on a failed presidency - one filled with lies, divisiveness, stubbornness and one disaster after another.

How is one to ever get mommy's approval and attention when daddy has to keep getting you out of trouble? And at 60 years old? Damn that must be bruising to your already fragile ego.

And oh, how embarrassing it must be to have the headline for this week's Newsweek as Father Knows Best, with daddy in the foreground and you relegated to the background. It must also suck to see the words "Daddy's team comes to the rescue.....once again" or words like "Can Bush save Bush" about having to call in daddy to once again fix what you broke.

You would think that this would have gotten tired and annoying back in your college days, when comparisons of daddy the captain of the baseball team made you feel like you were two feet tall. But I guess you really showed everyone when you jumped right in yourself to become a cheerleader. I guess, as the saying from Grease goes, "if you can't be an athlete, be an athletic supporter.

And oh, how you have shown to be a colossal "athletic supporter" over the years. Especially when it comes to showing daddy how independent you are. Just like that time in the mid 1980s when you were the only one who managed to NOT find oil in Texas. Or when you said back in 2000 how daddy should have invaded Iraq and you wouldn't have wasted all that political capital. May I ask you how that all worked out?

Oh yeah, an absolute disaster, which may be the understatement of the century. But not just an absolute disaster for the military, the economy, the Iraqis, the Middle East and the United States in general, but at this point, to have to call daddy once again for help. Like Robert Gates, who was close with daddy's administration replacing your partner in crime (literally) Rumsfeld. And calling in daddy's other best friend James Baker to try and come up with the least horrific plan for Iraq and the Middle East.

But we can't forget how you also had to call daddy's buddy Baker back in 2000 to help "convince" the Supreme Court that they should hand you the presidency. Or how another buddy from daddy's presidency came to the rescue in 2000 with this famous line:

"I'm with the Bush-Cheney team, and I'm here to stop the count."

Good thing you gave him that UN position, especially since nobody else wanted him there.

And what happened after your worst domestic screw up, the non reaction to a hurricane that everyone say coming? Daddy and Bill Clinton come to the rescue. Boy, did they get chummy as well. I guess when daddy finds someone who is intelligent, intellectually curious, engaging and entertaining, he probably wished at least once that Clinton was his son, and not you.

No wonder you have such a disdain for your immediate predecessor. In 60 years, you have never been able get daddy to notice you - but when you have no accomplishments, how can daddy ever give you his approval anyway?

So this year you celebrate your 60th birthday. Yet, you are still the same loser and failure that you were for the first 59 years of your life. And still, even at an age where some people are close to retiring, you still can't get anything right, and still need daddy to call in his friends and favors to bail you out of your messes.

How pathetic.

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