Friday, November 10, 2006

The GOP: resorting to the Chewbacca Defense

Front paged at Booman Tribune

The stunning events of this week have led to some "soul searching" by the republicans, the talking meatsticks and the wingnuts. Although I use the term "soul searching" somewhat ironically since that would assume that these heartless criminals and idiots actually have a soul.....But with all of the spin that contradiction that is coming out of right wingnutistan, the only way to describe their blathering, justification, hand-wringing, finger pointing and even their twisted cries of victory is that they have finally had to resort to the Chewbacca Defense.

With all of the crap that we have seen and heard over the past few years, with all of the finger pointing and playing the victim, for all of the false bravado in the face of an overwhelming wave that has finally drowned out their failed policies, agenda and permanent majority - it has now gotten so pathetic that the only, no - the last resort is to just try overwhelm us even more by throwing as much shit against the wall in the hopes that something, anything will stick.

How pathetic.

You have the absolutely certifiably batshit insane religious wackos pointing fingers at "moderate" republicans for not "seeing the importance of family and marriage" enough. And as Aravosis so eloquently puts it:

Yeah, and Rick Santorum, George Allen, Katherine Harris, JD Hayworth, Blackwell in Ohio, Steele in Maryland and all the rest of the social conservatives just sailed to victory. Oh, not they didn't. They lost. And religious right candidate Marilyn Musgrave in Colorado nearly lost to Angie Paccione, a Democrat who openly supported gay marriage - yet her embrace of civil rights for glbt Americans didn't even scratch Paccione, in Colorado of all places. And in Virginia and Wisconsin, the anti-gay amendments actually HELPED GOP officials LOSE their elections.

Not to be outdone, you have Congressman Sense(less)brenner blaming the anti-gay marriage amendment for republican losses, presumably pointing the finger right back at his absolutely certifiably batshit insane religious wacko republican counterparts. And then there is the genius of drug smuggler Rush Limbaugh who talked himself in circles about how republicanism lost, not conservatism, but if there was conservatism on the ballot, then it was the Democrats, not the republicans who were conservative.

Um, what?

This defense was echoed by rabid, foaming at the mouth Michelle Malkin as well as one of Newsmax's resident brainiacs, Lowell Ponte who said that not only was conservatism the winner (like Webb's ultra conservative views of "economic fairness and social justice"), but the liberal media was as well because it can control the government. Ponte also gave these moronic blurbs:

Conservatives at least have the satisfaction of knowing that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery and, as La Rochefoucauld said, that hypocrisy is the tribute vice pays to virtue. Tuesday brought defeat for Republicans but victory for many Democratic candidates who ran as conservatives.

Speaker Pelosi, of course, will on her first day in power require all newly-elected Democrats in the House to kiss her ring and promise to vote for whatever tax increases her socialist heart desires.

But her power and the election's Democratic "mandate" rest on new Democrats who ran against gun control and big government. No popular mandate exists for bigger government or socialist programs.


In order to cement their newly-regained majority, Democrats therefore ought to feel constrained to go slow with their more radical agenda until after the 2008 election. Voters gave them a mandate to move right towards the center, not left.


The unelected liberal media was the biggest winner on Tuesday, proving that it can control our government by tilting in favor of Democrats and against Republicans. Our freedom now depends on honest alternative media such as NewsMax.

You can't make this shit up.

With this kind of hand-wringing and "we may have lost but WE didn't really lose" attitude, it's really beyond laughable. And actually, it is quite comforting that everyone ELSE is to blame, and everyone ELSE is the "real" winner.

But the truth is (and we know how much the whole reality-based-community thing plays out with the republicans and wingnuts) that all of those "other winners" can kiss my big fat ass. All of those "other winners" have just as much power in Congress as I do.

And all of those "winners" and all of those excuses, and all of those fingers being pointed only make me more excited for these next couple of years. May these fuckwads twist in the wind while this country gains back some semblance of sanity.

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