Friday, April 06, 2007

"Many people think" the media are just lazy douchebags

Front paged at Booman Tribune and My Left Wing. Recommended at Daily Kos.

It’s true. Based on my highly scientific analysis, the talking meatsticks who parade themselves across the airwaves patting themselves on the back for how great they are, are, in reality, just useless lazy douchebags who are hurtling towards irrelevancy.

I know a lot of people. And they say that people like Matt Lauer couldn’t report their way out of a paper bag. They also overwhelmingly say how Katie Couric actually runs on 10 AAA batteries and has no original thoughts of her own.

This vast segment of society also has said that Couric’s amateurish style and lack of substance are main contributors to CBS lagging far behind in the news department. There are many sources who think that Couric is not long for the primetime news world. You want proof? Oh sorry, I can’t divulge my sources, but rest assured that they exist.

Rumor also has it that Drudge and Rush Limbaugh get their information directly from Little Green Footballs and Free Republic. My sources tell me that since they can’t bother to do any verification of facts, they just go directly to the most creative of wingnuts to get their material. Some say that they are too lazy to even make up their own lies.

On that note, I have it on good authority that many former listeners and viewers of FOX News, CNN and MSNBC are turning to blogs for their news source. The general consensus is that blogs are now rated as “more trustworthy than mainstream news” by more than a 8 to 1 margin. I can’t find the support for that right now, but just know that I read it on a number of blogs, and they are all reputable sources.

What is even more shocking is how specific “venerable institutions” and “respected TV pundits” aren’t spared. According to a recent survey (sorry, I don’t have the link but I read it somewhere at some point. Or maybe I dreamt it – but either way, I am certain it is true), Chris Matthews was rated as “shill for the Republican party” by a whopping 63% of those polled. Tim Russert didn’t fare much better, as 56% deemed him to be “too close to the Bush administration” after his testimony and involvement in the Libby case.

76% of those polled said that they believe “most of what they read or see” in newspapers or on cable news shows are “anti-Democratic party propaganda” or “pro-republican distortions of fact”, and 92% of those polled indicated that the media has an “agenda of hiding the truth and covering up lies and misdeeds of this administration”.

Quite frankly, these are shocking numbers, even more so for a poll that is as highly scientific and trusted as the one that I dreamt about the other night, conjured up right now, heard about from a number of very reliable sources.

It is amazing – how so many people can say so many damning things about the “respected fourth estate”. I mean, you never would have thought it if you weren’t presented with such definitive information as that I have presented above.

I know I wouldn’t believe it if I didn’t see it myself or hear it from the many sources I have.

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